This post is a continuation from "Torah Camp" posted earlier on. To view earlier posts, scroll down.
July 11, 2010
We went to the Ohel last Thursday. For those of you who don’t know, that’s the name of the gravesite for the last great leader of the Chabad movement, the Rebbe. They consider him one of the greatest righteous men in Jewish history, and his gravesite is thus said to be a very special place of holiness.
On our program, there are only two people who consider themselves Chasidim. The rest of us are questioning Jews who are only in the past couple years, though university exposure, making our way to Jewish observance. As outsiders among the chasids here, we often challenge the surrounding rabbis on their beliefs, on those things we don’t understand. To their credit, they take no offense at questions and are more than capable at supplying answers. But even when they do have answers, many of us find their beliefs still at odds with our own.
I for one was skeptical about this visit to the Ohel. I knew that we were supposed to write out a personal prayer in a specific format and deliver it when we went. It felt like praying to a saint to me, borderline idolatrous. The rabbis explained that you’re not praying to the Rebbe, but praying that God answer your prayers on behalf of the merit of the Rebbe. Still, as I wrote the long prayer the night before, I was uncomfortable.
After driving down from upstate for a few hours, we visited a mikveh to get ourselves ritually pure. Now I don’t know how many of you have been to a mikveh, but I never went in one before this. Most are small and full of water that’s the same color as the water in mop buckets. This one was like a spa though- crystal clear, warm as a hot tub, and with showers better than the ones we have at camp. I dunked extra.
Immediately after we went to do morning services in a shul near the Ohel. I was surprised when I opened my prayer book and I immediately felt myself uplifted as I started to pray. My focus was dramatically sharper than normal. I felt like I couldn’t pray fast enough. I attributed this to the mikveh.
When services were over, most of the group went to go ahead to the Ohel. Only Venezuela and me stayed behind to finish up writing our prayers. The instructions are to be very specific, so I wanted to make sure to word mine correctly. I finished before Venezuela, but I didn’t want to go on my own, so I waited.
When we were done, they led us down a thin path through a graveyard to a small stone building. Inside was a room with prayer books and candles. We were instructed to pray as much as we wanted, knock on the door before we entered to the actual grave, then go in and read our notes.
So I prayed, but I couldn’t focus. I was too curious about what was inside. I skimmed the book a little, then knocked and entered.
It was much more modest than I expected. It wasn’t a pharoah’s or a president’s tomb. Just two little graves, the Rebbe and his father-in-law. Some people were standing around a big square pit full of ripped up notes praying. I felt no special sense of being uplifted. I read my prayer, tore it up, and left.
Other people had interesting experiences. My normally skeptical roommate D said it was one of the best prayer sessions of his life, while praying for me was much more significant beforehand. I suppose it really depends on the person.